My coven is all about wine and moonlight sacrifices so like NICE TRY
"I look like Gene Wilder! I’ll take that as a compliment."
"You just complimented yourself, dummy."
I know how difficult it is to worry about maintaining a relationship with someone who’s struggling with something you’re not sure you can truly shoulder long-term. Which is a painful thing to confront when you really love the person. You constantly wonder to yourself whether you should be more selfless in continuing to be there for someone you love and have committed yourself to, while simultaneously struggling with the thought that you’re not caring for and loving yourself as you need and deserve because the other person’s struggle is weighing heavily on you.
But I’ve also been on the other side, the side of your boyfriend, as someone who has a life-long affliction they’re dealing with. I’m manic-depressive, and it’s been something that for the longest time I’ve felt it’s wholly unfair to burden others with because often times I truly get sick of *myself* so how can I expect another person to constantly deal with the unpredictable, worrying, and sometimes scary things that come with the illness?
It took me a long time to accept both my friends’ and boyfriend’s insistence that I don’t get to dictate what they can and cannot handle and if they tell me they want to be there for me, I should just let them. But I know it’s difficult for them and I try to do what I can to lessen their burden without being dishonest and hiding things. A lot of times trying to be better for them actually does make me feel better, which in turn makes them happy to see me doing well.
So, really, you have to ask yourself whether this person is worth it to you to go through the difficult work of staying with them long term and try to be aware of how much or little they do to make sure it’s not too much for you. Even if people want to completely and whole-heartedly be there for you, you do have to recognize that it can get very draining on them so you can’t always drown them in it. And if the person you’re trying to be there for doesn’t recognize that, then it can quickly turn into an unhealthy relationship where you’re being emotionally and mentally drained without being cared for in return.
I know you didn’t ask for advice or some long-winded reply, but I’m glad you connected with something I posted and that you felt like you could come into my ask and let some of that off your chest, so I hope some of this was at least a little helpful.